Vaginismus: Understanding, Healing, and Hope

Vaginismus: Understanding, Healing, and Hope

Vaginismus is something that’s rarely spoken about openly, yet it affects more women than many realise. It can be an incredibly distressing condition — not just physically, but emotionally too. For some women, it may mean struggling to use a tampon, have a smear test, or experience intimacy without pain or fear. For others, it’s a deep sense of frustration or shame because their body seems to “freeze” or “shut down” without their control.

What’s important to understand is that vaginismus is not simply a mechanical problem with the muscles of the pelvic floor — it’s a protective response from the nervous system. The body perceives a threat, even when none is present, and the pelvic muscles tighten involuntarily to protect. This can be linked to past pain, fear, trauma, or even a single difficult medical procedure. Over time, the body learns this pattern — and unlearning it requires both patience and compassion.

When I work with women experiencing vaginismus, the focus is always on safety, trust, and connection. Each session moves at the individual’s pace. There’s never pressure or expectation — only support. We work to calm the nervous system, rebuild confidence, and restore a sense of control. This might include gentle breathwork, education, external and internal release work (if and when someone feels ready), and integration of the mind-body connection through movement and awareness.

It’s one of the most rewarding parts of my work — helping someone rediscover comfort, confidence, and trust in their own body again.

Below is a testimonial that I’m truly honoured to share. It captures the courage, honesty, and transformation of one of the incredible women I’ve had the privilege of supporting.

Client Testimonial

“I am deeply grateful for all the work Michelle has done.
Talking about vaginismus isn't easy. Living with it for over 15 years was even harder. But today, with a peaceful heart, I can say: healing is possible.

My story began with my first boyfriend, when I started my sexual life. Instead of pleasure, I felt pain, shock, and tension. I couldn't relax. We tried many times, but none of them worked. Doctors told me, “Just have a glass of wine and it’ll pass,” as if it were that simple. But it wasn’t.

Soon, anger and frustration began to take over, and I didn’t feel like a “real woman”. I decided to start psychotherapy (as I had experienced abuse during my teenage years) - something I knew was connected to all this.

During that process, I separated from my partner. About half a year later, I moved to England. I thought I was okay... until I fell in love again — a wonderful man — and when the time came for penetration, the same feelings resurfaced: frustration, sadness.

I told him my story, and he supported me in seeking help. But I panicked — I was in a country where no one spoke my language, and I felt completely alone.

I decided to try on my own, buying dilators, watching and following pelvic floor exercises on YouTube. But it all felt like I was going back to square one.

My boyfriend started to grow impatient. We went through several crises and even tried sexual therapy, but it didn’t work — at least not for me.

He encouraged me to seek help again and return to psychotherapy. I did — I worked through the abuse again, and we did deep inner work to heal and reframe things with the women in my systemic lineage.

After that, I felt I also needed physical support. But I was afraid of the language barrier, especially with such technical terms I didn’t even know how to say. That’s when I found Michelle, the best pelvic physiotherapist, and everything changed, she helped me all the way through to healing.

Our sessions were full of personal growth. Michelle reassured me that language wouldn’t be a barrier, and that we could always rely on ChatGPT (And we never even needed it!) My heart was at peace from then on.

Session after session, every week, I gained confidence.

I bought a 10-session package, but after session 6, my boyfriend and I decided to try penetration. Not yet pleasure — but no pain at all. We tried a few more times, and still — no pain.

And I can tell you: vaginismus can be cured.

The physiotherapist teaches you how to relax the muscles, how to do relaxing massages, stretches, body movement exercises, and at-home routines as well.

She was an angel who crossed my path.

After that, I even went to the gynecologist with no pain at all.

Today, I feel more connected to my body.

Thank you, Michelle, for showing me that healing is possible, and for walking alongside me with so much care, love, and respect. ❤️

I want to leave a message to all women: trust Michelle’s work — healing can be quicker and much easier than it seems!
Don’t give up on seeking both pelvic and emotional healing. When these two come together, the results are powerful.

The next step in my healing journey is one of hope and new beginnings: trying for a baby. 🌱”

Closing Reflection

Reading words like these never fails to move me. Healing from vaginismus takes courage — not just to seek help, but to trust again, to reconnect with your body, and to believe that pain doesn’t have to be your normal.

This story beautifully captures what happens when the mind, body, and nervous system begin to work with one another rather than against each other. By calming the body’s protective reflexes, gently retraining the pelvic floor, and creating safety in both the physical and emotional sense, true healing becomes possible.

If this story resonates with you — whether you recognise your own experience or simply want to understand more — please know you’re not alone. There is support available, and recovery is absolutely possible.

You can find more information about my women’s health physiotherapy services here or reach out to book a confidential consultation.

Together, we can take those first steps toward comfort, confidence, and connection again.